Can you remember the last time you were in the most fabulous state of health? Want to find that again? You’ve come to the perfect place. Welcome.
If I was a dog I would without any shadow of doubt be called ‘Spot’. I am COVERED in hives. From arsehole to bloody breakfast time!! They are on my arms, my belly, my backside and my thighs. It’s a good job John has spent most of this week too sozzled to notice the skin on my body reads like a bloody Braille atlas!!!! I am so pleased it's January and this skin does not need to be exposed to the general public. Children would be afraid…mothers would run screaming to the doctor…television crews would report a new outbreak of leprosy in Northumberland!! In between itching and picking and showing my colleagues (much to their disgust I may add) I am becoming more desperate to know what is causing it!?? I have mailed Rumana and we are going to look at it on Monday. I know this sounds completely mental but I feel like it is my skin saying there is something going on inside that it isn’t coping with. I wonder if it’s all the toxins I am disturbing that aren’t getting filtered away quickly enough. The lady in Tesco asked me if I had I would like to speak to the pharmacist when I ordered six boxes of Epsom salts…….I think she must have thought I was a little constipated…On the contrary..
At last!!! At bloody last!!!! My hair!! If there is one sure sign that things are on the up it’s the condition of my hair. I am so pleased. I am the very proud owner of what shall be know from today onwards as THE MANE OF GLORY!!! It is shiny, thick and so lustrous I may almost be confident enough to audition for the Loreal advert!! Admittedly I am prone to a little exaggeration but the fact that its condition has improved dramatically is true. It has to be the herbal program. It can’t be anything else. I do exactly the same with my hair as I have always done yet after I had the overly dramatised ‘almost balding’ incident last year it seems to have regenerated itself. Logically speaking as I am taking all the B vitamins and the Superfood I am giving my body what it needs to ‘build’ stuff like hair so this shouldn’t be a surprise. But oh how lovely to see it. I really am seeing the results in other areas. This was never about my hair but this is proof it works all over!! I remember asking John when it started falling out, whether he would prefer Vanessa Feltz pre-diet or bald Elle McPherson. He claimed that you could always get Elle a wig…now he won’t have too. Move aside you hairdressers…the mane of glory has landed…I am off to flick my hair incessantly at passers by.
Oh my life!! Where have the last fourteen weeks gone!!!!??? I feel like I have been existing with my head filled with a haze of grey fog.....Not only have the wheels been well and truly off - but the torture I have put myself through trying to get them back on again has been exhausting!! I accept I am a little prone to over exaggeration but really!!! Life changing experiences and all that malarkey.....I suppose if the shit is going to hit the proverbial fan it may as well be all at once. ….. I mean, I ask you, how are you supposed to deal with the day ahead, when, within a two hour period, The Mother arrives and announces that she taking back control of her life, leaving her partner of ten years and her fantastic business to leave the country and start enjoying herself again? Then in walks John, the love of your life, your rock & your future states that his business of twenty- two years has just gone down the pan and he is going to need me behind him whilst he takes some time to think!!! My God. Up till then my biggest question was shall I have Arborio Rice or Ginger & Chilli Stir-Fry………. hmmmm, it’s another toughie….. Watching two of the most important people in your life go through particularly hard times on their own journeys is horrific. The feeling of wanting to step in and make their pain go away still hasn’t left me. I don’t know where my strength has come from. I feel like I have connected with my ‘inner Garth’.
I suppose we all have to decide what it is we really want or indeed don’t, as the case may be and take the steps towards wherever it is we want to be. Even if it does mean giving up or loosing something you have worked so hard to create. This is it. There is only one life. No regrets.